Hey guys, I’m sorry I haven’t written much! It’s not that I haven’t been out trying fabulous new ways to exercise over the last eight (!!!) months, it’s just that… I haven’t really been exercising over the last eight months.
Okay, lies. I totally had a six pack at the end of Spring semester. I would take off my shirt and gladiators would bow in reverence of my abs. Maids would try to wash their master’s clothes on my abs. Michael Phelps would eat a cheeseburger, because there is no way his abs could beat my abs.
And then I moved to Oklahoma and got fat.
Okay, not really. But I did (kind of) stop working out. There’s a gym here, the Colvin, but it is no way up to par with the fabulous Rec Center of Cal Poly. And once the gym people turned my favorite TV from ABC Family to regular ABC… I kind of lost interest. Now there are two TV’s right next to each other that both play ABC. What’s up with that?
Admittedly, I did kind of want to gain weight. I’m in this Nutrition class this quarter and they made us do this Health Risk Assessment thingy. After I found out I weighed pretty much the “old” method of calculating BMI (for women, give 100 pounds for five feet and add five pounds for every inch after that), I kind of decided I wanted to gain weight. Which I did, thanks to Oklahoma’s exceptionally low rate of vegetable consumption. But I also lost muscle mass. And my six pack.
For a while I kind of liked my newfound flab. It was liberating to break away from the tyranny of gymgoing. I still wouldn’t call myself “out of shape”, because I’m still always running around and riding my bike. I’m still kind of cute. But I did kind of miss getting in the zone and pounding out a good sweat, which I haven’t really done since I’ve been here. And I really miss my abs.
Last night my sister called me up to see if I wanted to order any Victoria’s Secret pajamas. I was hanging out with my boyfriend and he points to some Victoria’s Secret model wearing pajamas and goes, “Whoa! She’s got a six pack!”
That was it. I’m getting that six- pack.
Then I started whining about how I used to have a six pack.
“Yea, I did too.” he said. “I did, like, 100 situps every night for a year.”
My goal is to devise a quick, easy, 15- 20 minute routine to do anywhere, every day. Hopefully I will have my sexy abs back by New Year’s. I realize it is the holiday season, but lucky for you I am a pro at staying svelte in the face of pecan pie and Christmas cookies. Stay tuned for the workout and the results. We’re going from Kesha in a bikini to Lindsey Ellingson in pajamas. Get psyched.